Thursday, August 19, 2010

Scale is UPPPP!

I for some reason haven’t been in the mood to blog. Partly because I am so ashamed that I have not been staying on track. I’ve been splurging like there is no tomorrow. But I need to get back on track and get back to blogging because like I have said many times before, it really helps me to stay focused.

August the 18th was the last time that I weighed in. My weight was 243. I had lost the 5 pounds that I had gained so I was floating on cloud 9!

Then came the BBQ.. I over did it and have been staying off course ever since then. For the BBQ we had everything you could possibly think of and it was SO good. Then my birthday was August 24th so Nick and I went ate out, watched a movie, and even had some cheesecake brownies from Great American Cookie Factory.

Life all together has been crazy! I just need to get my mind set again and get back on track because I want this! I sometimes ask myself what is the point of even doing this?? Really?? Is it worth all of the frustration and aggravation? Some days I feel like it is worth it but then other days (like the days I’ve been having) I don’t.

With that said, it is time for me to spill the beans. Over the last 2 weeks with splurging and bingeing like crazy (and for no good reason I might add) I have managed to gain---are you ready for it??---I have managed to gain a whopping 15 pounds! Yeap! I’m almost crying as I type this because this puts me at 258 pounds which is 3 pounds more than I was when I started my blog!

When I got on the scale this morning I was like WHAT? But it’s my own fault, I know.. but I didn’t expect it to be that bad! I am so scared at ending back up at 290 or 300 and that’s exactly where I will be soon if I don’t get a handle on this soon.

I know that it isn’t anyone’s fault but my own and that’s all I can do is start again.

I don’t know what to do different. I start out good then 2 or 3 weeks later I’m right back where I started (or in the case even worse than when I started).

Maybe something different I could try is looking at it as a change in life and the way that I do things instead of a diet. Because I don’t know about you but when I diet I eat grilled chicken salad for lunch and carrots for snack. Maybe if I look at is as a new way of life it will work out better. Then I could eat whatever I want, just in smaller portions. I don’t know …but I’m open for suggestions and advise if anyone has any to offer.

I weighed in today just because I wanted to see what the scale had to say since it had been almost 3 weeks since I had checked in but I will keep my weigh in day on Sunday. As far as measurements go, I’m just going to wait until the 20th of this month to check in with that.

On a good note…I did go on a 2 mile walk with my sister today!

So the new plan is to lay off all the junk food and sweets and eat smaller portions! Going to start going for my afternoon workout at the gym and afternoon walks again. Oh-and to try to make time to blog a little each day.

Until next time…

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

I Made It to the Gym!!

Just a quick post to let everyone know that yesterday was another great day!

Colby had orientation at school at 5:30 so I didn’t cook supper due to lack of Nick and him had left over’s and I grilled me a chicken breast and threw it in a salad. It was pretty yummy!

After supper, I decided to head over to the gym to put the $40 a month that I pay to good use. I did the treadmill at 3.2 with intervals of 3.8 (I couldn’t go any higher than that-or I really would have made a fool out of myself). Then I decided to do the elliptical for a mile—that was a challenge! But I did it, somehow!

Today, I’m going to head over to the gym after work before picking up the boys from the sitter. I think that will be easier than getting home and then having to leave again. After we get home and I cook supper and clean up the house a little bit (my house is not dirty lol, I just am picky about the way I want it) the boys and I will go for a walk so Colby can get some exercise in.

I really worry about Colby becoming overweight just because it is something that I have always struggled with. He is not over weight yet but I’m scared that he may become. So I talked with him and every other day him and I (and Corbin in the stroller) will go for a walk just to get him out of the house and moving around.

On another note, Nick wants to have some friends over for a barbeque this weekend. Which sounds great because we haven’t done that in a while. I’m just really worried about me not splurging and going crazy. When we barbeque we do it big usually. I’m talking potato salad, baked beans, rice dressing, boudin, sausage, pork, Tasso, chicken, beef, and sautéed mushrooms, and even oysters wrapped in bacon!

So I need a plan! I’m going to have to put some boundaries up and not let myself go crazy! I don’t want to not have the barbeque because this is something I need to learn to deal with and have self control.

I’m just so scared of failing!

Until next time…

Monday, August 9, 2010

Back on Track

I usually don’t check in but once, sometimes twice a week but I just had to share with everyone how awesome yesterday was.

The boys and I went out at 5:30 to do our walk (I push Corbin in his stroller and Colby rides his bike) and I was really proud of myself because I did intervals of 5 minutes walking then 30 seconds jogging. I know it may not seem like much but for this girl—it was! The first couple of times I couldn’t even do it the whole 30 seconds! But I eventually got it. But being it was so hot we only did 1 mile instead of our usual 2 miles because I was worn out and sweating like a big pig!

Then by 7:15, supper was cooked, kitchen was clean, and everything seemed in order so I decided to go for another walk/jog except this time I did intervals of 3 minutes walking and 30 seconds jogging and did 2 miles! I was SO tired after that but I felt really good.

When I took off jogging the first time, I was really nervous! They had people sitting outside on their porches, driving by in their cars, and even some walking too. I was so embarrassed. I kept telling myself not to jog because I would just be embarrassing myself..but I over came it and did it anyway because I started thinking…none of these people know me so why care what they think about me..and then I went for it. I’m glad I did because I felt good afterwards!

The plan for today is to do the same thing except I may put my gym membership to use and do the intervals on the treadmill..We’ll see. If I don’t make it to the gym, the boys and I will do the same thing as yesterday. (Plus the thought of running on a treadmill scares me because I’m not all that good at just walking on it, I always feel like I’m going to fall and bust my butt.)

Until next time...

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Weight is Up (no big surprise)

It's hard to believe that my last blog was over a week ago! I skipped last week's weigh in because I really didn't want to see what the scale had to say..then pretty much all this week, I've been eating what ever. I'm not really sure why..but all my will power to do this just went out the window!

But last night after pouting about feeling SO fat and bloated and just so discouraged, I told myself that I need to do this! I felt SO good when I was sticking to it and I think that blogging was really helping me stay on track.

Last night when I was wallowing in my self pity and having myself a pity party about being SO fat, I told my husband that I wanted to start some diet pills but he talked me out of it. Being the great man that he is, he told me that I don't need pills, I can do it on my own. Which is exactly what I needed to hear! I was looking for an easy way out..and truth be told...I don't need an easy way out! I need to do this by myself (without the aide of pills or even surgery for that matter--because there has been plenty of times I've just wanted surgery).

Then how weird is this...Last night after our talk & I was going to bed, I turned on the TV (because I usually watch IV for a little while before falling asleep) and there was a show called "How I Lost 100 Pounds" playing on TLC. What an awesome show that is! I think that is exactly what I needed to see. That particular episode was about a lady that lost 105 pounds! She did it by walking/jogging then eventually running ...and watching what she eats. That was great motivation!

I'm not sure about jogging or running...but she did say that when she started off she would walk 5 min and jog 30 seconds then eventually worked her self up to jogging the whole time then running. So I may try that, but being the self conscious person that I am, I'm scared to do that because people would probably be starring at me!

I did weigh in this morning and no real big surprise..I gained 5 pounds! I'm back up to 248!

My goal for this week is to lose the 5 pounds that I gained and 2 extra for a total of 7 pounds, which is a little extreme but I'm going to work extra hard!

Until next time....