Failure

What is failure?? Failure refers to the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective.

This word describes how I am feeling at this moment..I feel like a complete failure.
It all started Saturday when I went over my calorie goal...then came Sunday and I had decided that I was going to do better Sunday than Saturday, but that was a joke...then came today..today was HORRIBLE! I over ate sooo much today..I have tears in my eyes just trying to find the words to put on here..I feel like I am at a constant argument and fight with myself...I am not proud of what I have done..I feel horrible. I know the reality is that I did it and there is nothing I can do to fix it except start again tomorrow..but as I sit here trying to come up with words to express myself...I can't help but feel upset/ disappointed with myself.

How long have I been on this journey...for what..just to trow it all out the door for a binge that only leaves me feeling like crap for days? How many times I have said I'll do better tomorrow? How many times have I said I'm tired of being overweight? How many times have I wished I could shop in a regular store instead of plus size one?

My failures do not define me. My failures are only a temporary change in direction to set me straight for my next success.

As horrible as I feel at the moment and as embarrassed I am to admit all of these things that I have done wrong the past couple of days..I'm not going to give up. This is my life and though this is a struggle, I'm not willing to let it go just like that.

Note to self~Don't let failure get to your heart.

Need to keep this in mind for the rest of the week:

Sunday afternoon my two year old and I went to Wal-Mart because I wanted to get him a new carseat and while there I ran into someone who I hadn't seen in a while but I'm friends with on facebook so she keeps up with some of my posts I put about losing weight and she was pretty much blown away by the way I look...she said that the pics I post on fb don't do me any justice because I look so much smaller in person....Really..me?? It made me feel sooo AWESOME to be complemented like that

I like that feeling..my husband tells me all the time how he can tell that the weight is coming off but it's just a different feeling when it comes from someone that you never see...because how am I supposed to know if he is saying it just to be nice and not hurt my feelings or is he being FOR REAL?? When I ran into my friend that do... That should have been my sign to get back on the wagon right then and there but I didn't...but that moment is the moment that I need to remember next time I feel myself falling.

~Thought for the day~